Creativity is not a quality that you either do or do not possess. Similar to the art of mindfulness, creativity is a way of organizing internal and external states that can be learned, honed, and exercised in the musculature of the mind.
Mindfulness is the state of being “meta-cognitive” or “meta-emotional”. It is a conscious state with the aim of simply NOTICING what you think and/or what you feel and takes place in the present moment. This is ideally done free from action, judgement, or anticipation. It is fairly straightforward to explain but far from easy to master.
The holidays can be a time to share and come together with your family, to remember those that are no longer with you, and an opportunity to extend yourself beyond your normal interpersonal “comfort zones.” However, there can be an ample amount of stress this time of the year due to the holiday hustle and bustle, grief over lost loved ones, loneliness, spoken or unspoken holiday expectations, or some of the family dysfunction that can arise during the holidays.
Here are some tangible suggestions to help you cope more positively with the season.
One of the first challenges to a greater level of overall emotional intelligence is knowing how to handle intense or seemingly powerful emotional reactions. Ultimately, adults are left to advocate for one’s emotional needs or to tolerate the seemingly intolerable intensity of an emotional experience. Let’s more closely examine the benefit and challenge of the later.
The Breakfast Club is a movie that is widely recognized for its unique plot and memorable characters. The rebel John Bender, the jock Andrew Clark, the pampered Claire Standish, the nerd Brian Johnson, and the introvert Allison Reynolds, all showcase their unique personalities, including their adolescent ways of protecting, fortressing, and establishing each of their own defensive structures.
Passive aggressive behavior can range from subtle innuendos to intense moments of quiet expressions. It be difficult to identify passive aggressiveness at first glance, and what can initially seem like an innocent remark or action can suddenly lead to anger, hostility, and hurt that can impact relationships or other areas of life.
The difficult truth is that people don’t always “play nice” or engage in a manner which engenders conversation or acceptance. Sometimes people will act downright ugly and engage in hateful commentary. Social media and other forms of modern day communication make it even easier to share thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, including hateful communications at times.
Whether it be learning how to dance, wanting to know how to disassemble an engine, or wanting to ask your partner for some support, asking for help can be a desirable means of making our way in the world.
The thrill of embracing your independence and making your mark in the world can be an alluring part of finishing college. This stage of life can also be met with feelings of uncertainty and anxiety as you prepare to face the “real world”. This transitional phase of life can feel overwhelming as you say goodbye to your routines, structure, and your known circle of support.
Emotions work as a cooperative system; if you shut down one, you numb yourself as a whole. You cannot selectively only feel those emotions that you wish to feel.