October 7, 2020
Rituals and traditions can create closeness. For example, many families have traditions around holidays. As a married couple, my husband and I watch Christmas movies every Friday in December. This is something that we look forward to every year. In addition to holiday traditions, rituals such as kissing before leaving and upon returning can be a designated time to reconnect. These small acts are simple reminders that there is an intimate partnership and to avoid feeling like roommates.
This one seems simple enough, and if you’ve been with your partner for a few years, you likely feel as though you know them well. Keep in mind that our ideas change over time and getting curious creates an opportunity to learn. Do you know their favorite color? What about a big goal of theirs? Do you know their biggest fear? Learning these things about your partner can unearth parts of them that they haven’t shared with anyone else. The vulnerability that comes with sharing these things, no matter how small they seem, leads to emotional intimacy.
We invest in things that are important to us. Whether that’s health, finances, or children, we put effort, money and time into our priorities. Placing effort, money and time into your relationship is one way to show that it is important and make it important. There are many actions to take to invest in your relationship: date nights, talking, doing your partner’s favorite activity with them, learning their love language, cheering each other on, setting goals together, and asking thought-provoking questions. Another way to invest in your relationship is to attend therapy.
Strengthening your marriage takes time, patience, and a bit of humility. Marriage is one of the most important relationships you’ll have in your life, if not the most important one, and it requires nourishment. If you’d like a consultation regarding your marriage, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us at (512) 914-6635.
"Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up" -Brené Brown