How to Mend a Friendship That Has Broken

Louis Laves-Webb

November 18, 2016

Throughout the course of life, there can be a variety of friendships that may come and go. Sometimes friends move away or drift apart, but other times, a friendship goes through a period of rupture.

Patience and time are two essential traits to have as you work to rebuild the path of friendship.

Put Aside Anger and Make Room for Apology

Anger fades – care doesn’t. If you and your friend had a truly strong friendship, then it maybe worth it to move through your anger and get to a place repair. Time can help heal, but time alone will not repair the relationship; healing requires effort, empathy, and some measure of acceptance.

You may try to be more understanding of your friend and the situation which might have caused the strain. If they have apologized, use that understanding to work on potentially forgiving them. It may take some effort, but forgiveness can be the “byproduct” of doing the repair work.

If you are the one who has caused strain on the friendship, work to “own” your part and give a sincere apology. By acknowledging our actions and taking ownership of them, your friend may be better able to understand and hear your viewpoint on the situation.

Find a Way to Talk

Talking face-to-face to mutually understand one another’s viewpoint is important. Skip the texting and email and instead go for a personal conversation. Words might be misunderstood through a simple text and being able to express yourself with your body will be more personal.

Likewise, if your friend appears sincere and apologetic, you must make an effort to hear what they have to say. Talking about your feelings in a peaceful, constructive manner can help you establish a strong bond with one another.

Talk To A Counselor Who Will Listen

Often, it’s necessary for someone else’s guidance to process those feelings before you can communicate with your friend. Talking to a counselor or therapist provides a source of guidance to help process the situation and allows for an open channel of communication and expression. Openly speaking about the concern with a counselor could be the needed step to take before talking to your friend.

Be Calm, Patient, and Sincere

Some friendships can be mended quickly – others may take more time, depending upon the circumstances. Throughout this time of healing, be sure to be calm, patient, and sincere. Each day that passes is a day that the friendship makes its way towards being mended. Time heals, so be patient and let wounds heal.

Remember Why You Are Friends

Remember the good times you have had together and why you are friends in the first place. Remind your friend of some of the times you’ve shared together, and reiterate your desire to be friends again. Learn from your mistakes and strive to not repeat them, and your friendship may be even stronger than before.

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