When You Can't Make Decisions

Quick Answer

When a decision feels impossible, it's often because you haven't identified your "decision criterion" — the one or two things you're actually prioritizing. Signal detection theory holds that decisions come down to your perception of a situation plus your decision criteria; getting clear on what matters most to you (cost vs. hauling power when buying a car, for example) simplifies the choice, helps you recognize your values, and can even explain why other people make choices that seem baffling. If you can't identify your own criteria, therapy, including approaches like ACT and motivational interviewing, can help you find the values that guide sustainable, intentional decisions.

Key Takeaways

• Decisions require two things: your perception of the situation and your decision criteria — the factor(s) you're prioritizing.
• Identifying your #1 decision criterion can simplify a decision that otherwise feels overwhelming.
• Getting clear on your criteria helps you recognize and choose your values intentionally, rather than deciding on autopilot or out of habit, emotion, or old patterns.
• Understanding decision criteria can also explain why other people's choices seem confusing; they may simply be prioritizing something different than you are.
• If you can't identify your own criteria, therapy approaches like ACT and motivational interviewing can help you uncover the values that lead to sustainable growth.

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Written by Derek Pruitt, LPC Associate. Find Derek online to learn more or to schedule an appointment.

We make decisions constantly about what to do and how to do it, but sometimes a decision isn't as clear cut as whether to stop at a red light or turning on a light in a dark room. Sometimes you might get stuck, unable to choose between options. Or maybe you can make one decision, but you aren't sure how to make a series of daily decisions that eventually lead to a better life. In that case, the answer may be in understanding the fundamental way humans make decisions and having the awareness to use that process as a tool for change.

How Humans Decide

One of the ideas that has helped my clients the most over the years has been "decision criteria." Signal detection theory is one field of study about how people process information and make decisions. According to signal detection theory, making a decision requires two things: your perception of the situation and your decision criterion (plural, criteria). Put simply, a decision criterion is the thing that a person focuses on in order to make a decision. For example, say you're buying a car. If your #1 priority is saving money, the best choice might be a small, affordable, fuel efficient sedan. But if you care most about being able to haul a trailer, you might want to get a pickup truck. In this case, two different decision criteria (cost or hauling power) lead to two different decisions. Sometimes, when you can't make a decision in life, it is because you aren't clear on what your #1 decision criterion is.

Top 3 Ways Understanding Decision Criteria Can Help

Often, when struggling with a decision, a good place to start could be figuring out what decision criteria you're looking at. This can be helpful in two ways:

1. It simplifies the decision- Instead of weighing a million different things, you can focus on just the one or two criteria that matter most to you.
2. It helps you recognize and choose your values- Instead of making decisions that may be unconscious, unstrategic, or based in emotions or trauma or habits, considering your decision criteria can give you a chance to slow down and be intentional about what you want to prioritize in your life.
3. It explains disagreements- Sometimes when people make baffling decisions, it can be as simple as their decision criteria are different then yours. Once you know what someone's priorities are, their behaviors might suddenly make sense.

Sometimes you might only need a clear, simple way to make one decision, and sometimes you might need a north star to make sure your decisions consistently lead you toward a life you want to live. Either way, spending some time thinking about your decision criteria might help make decisions a little easier.

What if You don't Know What Criteria to Use?

Understanding and choosing your decision criteria can be a great way to make choices, but sometimes you might not be able to decide what criteria to use or you might not be able to see what criteria you have been using. What do you do then? That's where I can help. One of my specialties is helping you discover your guiding lights, the things that make your life what you want it to be. If we worked together, I could use techniques and activities from acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and motivational interviewing (MI) designed to help you find the values that you can use as decision criteria to create sustainable growth and build your best life.

Get Support Making Decisions and Building the Life You Want

If you're ready to start understanding why you make the decisions you make, embracing decision criteria that lead you in the right direction, and making powerful, positive, intentional choices in life, email me at [email protected] or text me at (512) 360-0625 to schedule a free 15 minute consultation.