What Are the 6 Steps of IFS Therapy?

Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy is a powerful, evidence-based approach to mental health and personal growth. It helps individuals understand and navigate the different “parts” of their psyche, or sub-personalities, that hold emotions, beliefs, and behaviors. 

By connecting with the core Self, individuals can restore balance, reduce internal conflict, and improve emotional regulation. The core protocol in IFS involves six steps commonly referred to as the 6 Fs. Each step is designed to deepen self-awareness, facilitate healing, and promote integration. 

Understanding the 6 Fs of IFS therapy can help you understand part of the framework and give you a sense of what to expect when you work with an IFS therapist. The steps are described below sequentially, but in actuality do not always occur in a linear format.

Step 1: Find

The first step in IFS Therapy is to find the part of yourself that is currently activated or causing distress. These parts may appear as strong emotions, recurring thoughts, or behaviors that feel out of your control. For example, a part might trigger anxiety before a social event or create self-criticism when you make a mistake.

The therapist guides you to notice these signals, helping you locate the part within your internal system. Finding the part is essential because it creates a starting point for exploration and understanding. It allows you to identify which internal patterns are influencing your thoughts and behaviors, giving you a concrete place to begin your work toward self-leadership and emotional balance.

Step 2: Focus

Once the part is identified, the next step is to focus your attention on it. This involves giving deliberate, mindful attention to the part without judgment or distraction. Focusing enables you to observe the part’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors clearly.

During this step, clients often notice subtle aspects of the part—its tone of voice, posture,  recurring messages, and/or images. For example, a protective part might constantly urge you to avoid risk and “look” like an anxious caregiver, while an exiled part may carry sadness from past experiences. By focusing on the part, you gain insight into its motivations, which is a critical foundation for understanding how it interacts with your other internal parts.

Step 3: Flesh Out

The third step is to flesh out the part, exploring its characteristics, history, and emotional content. This step often reveals past experiences that shaped the part.

For example, a part that turns towards food or alcohol may have developed in childhood as a soothing or numbing mechanism during stressful and isolating times. By fleshing out the part, you gain an understanding of why it exists, what its role is, and how it has influenced your behavior over time. 

This exploration helps uncover patterns that might be limiting your emotional growth, giving you the knowledge needed to begin the healing process.

Step 4: Feel Toward

After fleshing out the part, the next step is to feel toward it with compassion and curiosity. This step encourages the Self energy of the client to approach their parts with empathy rather than judgment. It helps shift the relationship from conflict to cooperation.

During this step, you may notice strong emotions arising, such as sadness, fear, anger, or love. The therapist helps you with the parts that arise in response. Feeling toward the part helps reduce internal tension, fosters self-compassion, and allows for a supportive connection between your Self and your internal system.

Step 5: Befriend

The fifth step, befriend, is about creating trust and dialogue with the part. Clients learn to listen actively and respond in a supportive way. This step often involves asking the part what it needs and acknowledging its role in protecting or managing difficult emotions.

For instance, a part that pushes perfectionism may fear failure or rejection. Befriending this part allows you to reassure it and show it that it no longer needs to act out in harmful ways. 

This step builds internal cooperation, reduces resistance, and enables parts to work together rather than in conflict, leading to greater internal harmony and emotional resilience.

Step 6: Fear

The final step is Fear, which involves exploring and addressing the fears that each part carries. Many parts act out of protection, holding fears that influence behavior and decision-making.

By uncovering these fears, clients can help their parts release old burdens, trauma, or limiting beliefs. This process allows the parts to integrate more fully with the Self, creating a balanced internal system. When fears are acknowledged and addressed, clients experience improved emotional stability, clearer decision-making, and healthier relationships with themselves and others. 

Integration at this stage fosters long-term personal growth and a sense of inner harmony.

Access Your Core Self Through the 6 Fs of Internal Family Systems 

At Louis Laves-Webb, LCSW, LPC-S & Associates, we guide clients through each step of IFS Therapy in Austin, TX, with individualized attention, patience, and professional expertise. Each session is paced according to the client’s comfort level, ensuring a safe and supportive environment for self-exploration.

Clients learn to identify their internal parts, understand their motivations, and develop practical tools for communication and self-leadership. Over time, this process strengthens resilience, promotes self-compassion, and helps clients navigate daily challenges with greater clarity and confidence. 

Take the first step today and schedule a consultation with Louis Laves-Webb, LCSW, LPC-S & Associates to explore how IFS Therapy can support your emotional healing and personal growth.