Feeling Stuck? 8 Therapist-Backed Ways to Get Unstuck and Move Forward

Written by Stephen Jennings, LPC-A, Supervised by Louis Laves-Webb, LCSW, LPC-S. Find Stephen online to learn more or to schedule an appointment. 

You know what to do and you know what needs to be done. You’ve been talking about doing it, thinking about doing it, and even imagining yourself doing it at times. You have even told other people about your big plans to get it done. Yet, somehow, it still hasn’t happened. And the longer it goes on, the more stuck you feel.

At this point, you might start asking questions like “What is wrong with me?” or maybe the critical part of you comes in, nice and loud: “This should have been done already, what have you been doing with your time?”

You’re certainly not the only one who has ever felt this way, and you surely won’t be the last. Thankfully, there have been so many that have walked this path before us, whose wisdom we can learn from and apply in situations like these, so you can begin to meet stuck-ness with a newfound confidence and range of skills to navigate the situation with a little more ease and grace.

1. Shrink the Problem

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time! Sometimes when you feel stuck, the problem or target is too big. It may also need to be more clearly defined. Take a step back and identify the next concrete action you can take. Make a list, write an email, make a phone call, block off some time in your calendar. Make the target so small that you can hit it.

Action is fuel for motivation. If you are waiting for motivation to come first, you might be waiting a very long time. Motivation is not reliable enough to count on to get things done.

2. Externalize the Loop

Create some distance from the narrative about it all in your head by talking to someone about it, write it down, map it out. Clarity can come through being able to step back and look at it all at once rather than trying to solve it all internally, holding all factors at once in your mind.

3. Regulate Before Approaching the Problem

A dysregulated nervous system is simply not as effective at problem-solving as a regulated one. It is the brilliance of biology. You are not running for your life in the savannah, although it may feel like it. Go for a walk, take a cold shower, listen to some music, spend some time with a friend, take a nap, eat a nutritious meal, or get some exercise. Whatever you do to bring your system from anxious, overwhelmed, or depleted is going to put you in a better position to get things moving. You are not avoiding, you are restoring capacity.

4. Relax Your Standards

Perfectionism can immobilize decision-making and stop a project before it even passes the phase of being an idea. If you are waiting for just the right time and with all of the information and having thought through every single possibility to come to the single optimal conclusion, then you are likely paralyzed.

If your output has to be the best ever, then you are very likely putting undue pressure on completing something that probably isn’t a Guinness Book of World Records challenge anyway. Consider progress over precision.

5. Intentional Constraints

When the possibilities seem endless, or your thoughts are moving in too many directions at once, you can try to create some containment by setting limits. Use a timer, narrow down your options, or set a deadline with someone else for accountability. The reduction in cognitive load can yield movement.

6. Get Another Brain Involved

If you are stuck in a loop, it is likely self-enforcing. Getting someone else involved in the process can help you reality-check your assumptions, give you options you haven’t thought of, and help you feel less alone in the process. Consider a friend, family member, colleague, or a professional for help through coaching or therapy.

7. Reconnect to Your “Why”

If the outcome has become the focus, maybe you have lost sight of the bigger picture. Are you laser-focused on making the windows in the sand castle symmetrical when the vision was to have a 10-mile stretch of clean beach?

What are your values? Rather than, “How do I get this done?” or, “How can I fix this?” Consider the question, “What kind of person do I want to be in this situation?” If you were unstuck, how would that serve you beyond completion of the task or checking a box?

8. Acceptance

You are stuck. That is okay. Think, “I can feel stuck, and I can still take one step.” It isn’t the solution you’ve been waiting for; it is another flavor of the first idea. You can be partially stuck, and allow that to be while continuing to make one little movement.

In Jiu-Jitsu, one can literally be stuck underneath a bigger person, and the objective for that person who is stuck is to make space. That may mean wiggling a hand until the forearm can start to squeeze in there. There is still a massive person squishing and trapping you, but there has been movement, and ideally, the little sequences of making a little space and then moving to fill it, added up, over time, will accomplish something much bigger.

When It Still Feels Hard to Move Forward

My hope in writing this is that you can find some useful piece of information or an angle you hadn’t considered to help you create some momentum. 

If you are finding that these solution-focused, behavioral strategies are not working for you, or maybe they only work briefly, then it may be worth exploring further in psychotherapy. 

Feeling stuck can be representative of internal conflict or a protective adaptation. Therapy can help you to understand what is beneath the behavior, so that change doesn’t have to feel like an all-out war.

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